February 2012
25 posts
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if you spend the money, honey, I've got the time
“What do you do with all your money?”
“Save your money!”
“You must make a fortune working here!”
No matter how often customers use lines like these for small talk, my WASPy upbringing makes me recoil from talking about money—even though intellectually I believe we as a society would benefit from napalming our money issues.
Sometimes when I tell customers...
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one down, five to go
Unicorn drawing on my dressing room table where we are.
Kat’s first night post is here
This place I’ve brought us is the smallest club I’ve ever danced in, in the most remote town I’ve ever worked in, and every time I come here I have a mini-breakdown in the middle of the week where I think, “So. Here I am, in a titty bar in BFE. What kind of life decisions have...
I wrote a thing about Sam Elliott for Naked... →
kat like meow: Obligatory Slow Night →
and here’s Kat’s report from last night.
katstories:
Last night was slow. The cool thing about this club is that they won’t make the girls go on stage unless there are enough guys and they’re tipping well. One of the small handful of customers waiting for enough other guys to show up was an older western shirt type who had his own little official…
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If Kat and I were tallying our earnings at the end of each shift as if we were in an episode of 2 Broke Girls, at least we would have doubled their total take for the whole season. That’s not saying so much in stripper terms. This week is a slow one at the Hard Rock (this is the club where the header photo up there was taken, and after seeing a mouse in the dressing room there, I...
kat like meow: First Impressions →
katstories:
Last night was my first night at the club out here where I happen to be located. It’s an adorable little bar with many qualities that I like, including the fact that dancers can dance to, in the words of Bubbles, “anything, and I do mean anything.” I haven’t had that kind of freedom to express…
This was our night.
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I have this Valentine’s Day present for you!...
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when did you stop beating your wife?
Just as a service worker’s tolerance for asshole behavior from a customer rises in direct proportion to how much he spends, so too will music fans overlook an artist’s morally repugnant private life in proportion to the assumed value of his output. People hate Chris Brown because he is too famous for music that is not good enough to replace his womanbeating as the first thing they...
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Bubbles and Kat, May 2010
Tomorrow Kat and I are meeting in one of those places serviced mainly by regional jets. We will be working a ten-day stretch in a couple of tiny clubs where I’ve been a half-dozen times and where she’s never been, but I’ve assured her you have to work there “for the stories*.” She’s worked in Guam—a place I’m terrified of—so...
what causes the lights to flutter/what causes my...
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Not the sexiest choice, perhaps, but nothing makes...
—Today’s suzyhooker post at Tits and Sass may contain the greatest sentence we’ve ever published.
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Inappropriate Stripper Set: Love For Sale
“Fancy,” Reba McEntire
“Private Dancer,” Tina Turner
It’s just depressing to remind everyone that you’re there for the money.
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“Britney Zooka actually referred to herself as a hipster, which means that...”
– You’d have to go to, golly, New York City or Las Vegas or Los Angeles to be an exotic dancer, because god knows there’s nowhere to do that in Portland, Oregon.
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this week at tits and sass
we had some things on our mind
Khia’s “Pay Your Pussy Bill” was my Stripper Music Monday pick. I was squicked out by some print ads for the .xxx domain.
Lilly Muse talked about the hooking/hustling in Breakfast at Tiffany’s and about her experience coming out as a sex worker to her sisters.
Charlotte reviewed the fucking ridiculous dystopian...
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“I could take a high-ground approach to complaining about this. It continues...”
– —Neil Genzlinger begs television to stop forcing him to watch scenes set in strip clubs.
He’s not wrong about most strip club scenes being boring. It’s sweet that his idea of taking the high ground is calling the sex industry “an ugly world of drugs and disease.” And that...
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“I guess this is vagina’s moment … I think there is some sort of...”
– Emily Kapnek, creator of ABC’s “Suburgatory,” said she didn’t know when she included a vagina joke in the show’s pilot that she’d be part of a trend.