“What do you do with all your money?” 

“Save your money!”

“You must make a fortune working here!”

No matter how often customers use lines like these for small talk, my WASPy upbringing makes me recoil from talking about money—even though intellectually I believe we as a society would benefit from napalming our money issues.

Sometimes when I tell customers (who like me and have spent money on me) how long I’ve been dancing, they’ll say something like “Wow, you must be a millionaire!” and I laugh my ass off. Hell no, I tell them. I’m middle class. I have student loan and credit card debt and am pretty financially irresponsible. It’s one of my things. I don’t have money. What I have are experiences.

The trip Kat and I are on is one I’ve taken once or twice a year since 2007, and it’s hard work and makes me despair that I’ve made a horrible choice every time I take it, but then it finances a great trip or two or three weeks off, making it worthwhile. Last year and this year it’s a factor in letting me take time off for SXSW and other travel. A flight to Barcelona, some quarterly tax bills, time to go to Ecuador, weeks to fuck around reading and sleeping. That’s what I’ve paid for.

What I “should” be doing is not taking those vacations or time off, staying home and working, and paying off credit cards. But I did not wind up as a career stripper because I am good at planning for the future or fiscally responsible!